Not Happy With Your Choices? Why Regret is a Waste of Time
This attitude towards our choices as well as this version of life is hogwash.
We want to divide who we are, the choices we make, and the life that follows into three different things, but they are actually just one thing, one seamless, inseparable reality.
With every choice we make, we change, we become someone different. Who we are is the distillation of all our experiences. Each decision we make presents us with different challenges and gifts. Sometimes the challenges are greater than what we perceive as gifts, and sometimes it’s the other way around. Whomever we become as a result of those challenges and gifts is the right person to become, who we’re supposed to become, and the only person we could ever become—because that’s the only reality that ever could exist, the one that is.
Every choice we make is the right choice regardless of whether or not it leads us to the outcome we desired. It’s the choice we made at that time, with the intelligence, history, wounds, conditioning, relationships and everything else we possessed and were at the time. While it may seem like we could have chosen something other than what we chose, this is an utterly false belief, and one that creates tremendous suffering. The only choice we could have made was the one we made, precisely because it’s the one we did make. Had we been able to make a different choice we would have made it. Life could not have gone any other way than the way it did, or it would have. To suggest that we could have chosen a different path is to imagine that we could have been someone different than who we were in that moment. We did the best we could with what we had to work with; even if we thought we were making a wrong choice at the time we made it, still, our best was to make that “wrong” choice, knowing it was “wrong.” It was still the right “wrong” choice.
When a choice we make ends up leading to an undesirable situation, it’s a right choice that brought disappointment or suffering. While it may not have created what we wanted, it’s presenting us with the lessons to be learned at this moment, and the opportunity to grow into who we are to become now. It’s the experience that is our one and only possible life right now.
There’s only one thing we can know for sure and that is that whatever situation we’re in now, it will change. It will change in part through our choices and in part through life’s eternal changing nature. Rather than squandering your attention on old choices made, turn your most powerful gift, your attention, to what’s here now. Bring the best of you, your wisdom and your full presence to the next choice that presents itself, here, with a sincere intention to do the best you can with who you are right now. Be in this choice, this life, this now, and stop imagining that reality could be anything other than what it is.
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